PediatRX is a new series on the blog dedicated to providing tricks, tips and my very own “prescription guidelines” for parents on how to survive and thrive while raising kids in a post-pandemic world.

Dealing with Agitation

When dealing with a toddler and an infant, it’s a constant tug of war between good moments and bad. One moment, you’re feeling the love and kindness of your little ones and everything seems perfect. All of a sudden, a minor happenstance sets off a tantrum and a tsunami of negative emotions. Anger, frustration, guilt, helplessness. The cycle of negativity has begun, for both the child and parent. We’ve all been there at some point.

I recently spoke to a young Mother who found herself in those treacherous waters. Stressed out from the daily grind of raising a toddler and an infant, the pressure was mounting. Anxiety began to creep up in all forms, hijacking the present and negatively influencing her behaviour. She was looking for a solution to cope. The medication wasn’t helping, she felt it was making her more agitated. How could I help?

Agitation and Awareness

Parenting a toddler is just an agitating experience. The child’s cognitive abilities are in rapid development, they’re learning emotion and mastering the social intricacies of their environment. It’s a phenomenal thing to witness, but it can also drive a fully developed adult into misery or madness. Toddlers are designed to learn and gain independence. But we parents can sometimes feel angry when children don’t comply with our demands or desires. We feel like we’ve lost control, and it’s an intimidating experience. Ultimately, we must learn to let go.

The key is to take a step back in those moments of anger or agitation and bring in awareness. What are you really getting angry about? Your child refusing to listen to your demands. Maybe you feel embarrassed. Maybe you feel spite. Whatever you may be feeling in those situations, remember that your feelings are just a thought. They follow a pattern. They arise, you act, then the feeling simply passes away. The more you bring awareness and attention to this pattern of thoughts, the more you can control the outcome.

Simply feel it, sit with it, and let it go. Accept that there are things out of our control. Embrace this, and come back to what we can control – our response to external events. Try it out and see what happens.

Much love and gratitude.

SG